I can still remember the sweat stains that formed in the armpits of my white collared dress shirt on my first day of teaching. I have always been a little uneasy about playing that role, because that’s just what it felt like, acting. I have never felt particularly expert about anything and I grew up thinking (most of) my teachers had the answers. Of course, I know differently now. I remind myself and teach my students to consider ourselves guides on the side rather than sages on a stage. However, as with all endless drives towards perfection, my teaching experiences (read: experiments?) often end with feelings of inadequacy.
But, somehow, I don’t feel myself scrambling this morning, the first day I’ll be hosting Toddler Time @ The Columbus Museum of Art. Does this mean I found my niche? Or is it that this wasn’t conceived of primarily as a class, more of a playgroup. And if it’s not teaching, than do I have to play any special role today? Would museum staff hosting a similar program? What expectations do my parent-peers who will be joining me have of me? What do I want to teach them?
I imagine there’s a chance I will break a sweat this morning. I just hope it’s generated by creative exploration, not anxiety.